How to crack the party dress code

Send me a glamorous party invite and Im there before Ive opened the envelope (all right, email, but it doesnt sound as good, does it?).Oh, the starlight of rarely seen diamond earrings, the trail of perfume lingering on the stairs…

Im a romantic, of course, but like everyone else, I then wake up from the daydream in a sweat about what to wear.We British have an ingrained fear of attending a party and being over, underor inappropriately dressed.It runs deep.

The UK has no written constitution for government and none whatsoever forwhat to wear to a party.It would be helpful (a little project for Mrs Cameron, perhaps?), because how much easier to live in a Downton-esque world of strict sartorial regulations, where one knew in your blue blood what was appropriate to wear for breakfast in the country, tea in town, dinner with the ambassador and a jolly Christmas jamboree to which the servants are invited to watch through a crack in the door?

By comparison, these anything-goes times are tricky.Our clothing tastes are far less conservative than both our closest continental neighbours in France and our most culturally influential allies on the US east coast.But we have not yet sunk to the slack-billionaire standards of LA and Silicon Valley, where they might, the slobs, turn up for an evening do in a polo-neck and flip-flops.

We may have lost a lot, us Brits, but we still largely believe that if you go to a party, you scrub up and dress up.We just cant really remember how to do that, and end up throwing sequins at the problem.

So how are we going to style out the party season this year without plumping for a tinsel-trimmed onesie or a sequinned mince-pie jumper?I offer my humble advice – but I am not saying Ive cracked it myself.Far from.

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I still cringe about the time I turned up to a fancy fashion dinner in a statement dress that could be heard screaming Im HEEEEERE! while I was still in the taxi, and was too stiff to sit down in. Another guest was wearing a grey tracksuit.She was an example of what not to do as much as I was, but at least she could eat…

It was a harsh reminder of the first rule of Fashion Club: dont look as if youre trying to be in Fashion Club.Or, as if youre about to present Strictly Come Dancing.I know – I should be so lucky to have the physique, the glossy hair and the endless array of dazzling, bust- and bicep-revealing dresses that this role appears to require – they wouldnt entertain me for a second.

But thats fine.I dontwant to be the person at the party where everyone is wondering how many hoursI spent in the make-up chair.

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Her clothes were incomparable, writes Evelyn Waugh in the novel Vile Bodies, with just the suggestion of the haphazard which raised them high above the mere chic of the mannequin.Bring on the haphazard, I say.Perfect is no fun.

To paraphrase Coco Chanel, dress up to the nines by all means, then take something off.Put on a flat shoe instead of a heel, remove the red lipstick and dab on lip balm.Mess up the blow-dry.

Glamour Im all for, but glamour is not perfection.I like the archaic definitionof glamour as magic.Because isnt that what were doing when were dressingup for a party?Sprinkling some magicinto our lives?

To the British Fashion Awards earlierthis week, I wore a most glamorous dress by the British designer Joe Richards that felt like magic.Ankle-length, black stretch lace, with animal-print metallic splodges.Inspired by the Monaco princesses, Caroline and Stephanie, at the heightof their 80s chic, its effect is dramaticbut the fabric and the cut are easy – ithangs away from the body and feelslike a dress you might saunter downa beach in. And it has pockets – alwaysan excellent sign in an evening dress.

Richards thinks the secret to partywear is to dress as if you have a secret– and I dont believe he means one like,Im wearing two pairs of Spanx andI cant breathe!But rather, Embrace anair of mystery.

I love the look of a very “piece of work” dress worn with flat shoes, he tells me.“And I really love to see women in Le Smoking – the jacket neckline swooping under the clavicles but above the décolleté.The trousers cuffed high on the ankle and worn with beautiful shoes.

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Sounds dreamy and, even if you dontgo for the the full Le Smoking, I cant recommend highly enough a black or navy tux jacket.Its the solution to all evening outerwear options.I have one by Giorgio Armani, which is without a doubt the best jacket I own, but The Kooples and Zara are both great at tailored tuxes.

As is the style in recipe books now, heres a list of store-cupboard favourites that always work together: black lace or velvet and creamy oversized pearls; black leather and gold chain; a cream dress, blouse or sweater with gold jewellery; a white shirt, black silk trousers and red lipstick; midnight blue and diamonds; a cashmere sweater dress, long suede boots and one dangling glamorous earring; a chic jumper, high-waisted trousers, big bangles.

Another tip?Show some skin.Even in their old age, Diana Vreeland and Louloude la Falaise did and they were two chicks who knew how to dress.Were not talking Rihanna-type exposure here, but ratherthe bottom third of your arm beneatha hitched sleeve, a sliver of bare foot, a slashed sweater neckline, or go the whole hog and bare your shoulders, the on-trend erogenous zone.

Red is both seasonal and in vogue right now – meaning there are heaps of goodred dresses about.I suggest block colour rather than pattern.Keep accessories simple – pointed black flats or thigh- or knee-high boots.There are lots of metallics around.Dont wear them all.

My editor is a colour girl so she wont agree with me, but I never feel better than when Im at a party in black.Whether its lace, tinsel-tweed, silk, jersey, velvet orcrêpe, wear with a giant pearl necklaceor whopping great (fake) diamond earrings.

I mean, did anyone ever ever go wrongwith a black dress, a scarlet lipstick, smoky eyes and diamonds at their ears?Im really not sure they did.

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